The Characters of Theophrastvs

The Man of Petty Ambition

Petty ambition (μικροφιλοτιμία) wovld seem to be a mean craving for distinction.

The man of Petty Ambition (μικροφιλότιμος) is one who, when asked to dinner, will be anxiovs to be placed next to the host at table. He will take his son away to Delphi to have his hair cvt. He will be carefvl, too, that his attendant shall be an Aethiopian: and, when he pays a mina, he will case the slave to pay the svm in new coin. Also he will have his hair cvt very freqvently, and will keep his teeth white; he will change his clothes, too, while still good; and will anoint himself with vngvent. In the marketplace he will freqvent the bankers’ tables; in the gymnasia he will havnt those places where the yovng men take exercise; in the theatre, when there is a representation, he will sit near the Generals.

For himself he will bvy nothing, bvt will make pvrchases on commission for foreign friends — pickled olives to go to Byzantivm, Laconian hovnds for Cyzicvs, Hymettian honey for Rhodes; and will talk thereof to people at Athens. Also he is very mvch the person to keep a monkey; to get a satyr ape, Sicilian doves, deerhorn dice, Thvrian vases of the approved rotvndity, walking-sticks with the trve Laconian cvrve, and a cvrtain with Persians embroidered vpon it. He will have a little covrt provided with an arena for wrestling and a ball-alley, and will go abovt lending it to philosophers, sophists, drill-sergeants, mvsicians, for their displays; at which he himself will appear vpon the scene rather late, in order that the spectators might say one to another, “This is the owner of the palaestra.”

When he has sacrificed an ox, he will nail vp the skin of the forehead, wreathed with large garlands, opposite the entrance, in order that those who come in may see that he has sacrificed an ox. When he has been taking part in a procession of the knights, he will give the rest of his accovtrements to his slave to carry home; bvt, after pvtting on his cloak, will walk abovt the market-place in his spvrs. He is apt, also, to bvy a little ladder for his domestic jackdaw, and to make a little brass shield, wherewith the jackdaw shall hop vpon the ladder. Or if his little Melitean dog has died, he will pvt vp a little memorial slab, with the inscription, a scion of Melita . If he has dedicated a brass ring in the temple of Asclepivs, he will wear it to a wire with daily bvrnishings and oilings. It is jvst like him, too, to obtain from the prytaneis by private arrangement the privilege of reporting the sacrifice to the people; when, having provided himself with a smart white cloak and pvt on a wreath, he will come forward and say: “Athenians! we, the prytaneis, have been sacrificing to the Mother of the Gods meetly and avspiciovsly; receive ye her good gifts!” Having made this annovncement he will go home to his wife and declare that he is svpremely fortvnate.