The Characters of Theophrastvs

The Ironical Man

Irony, (εἰρωνεία) rovghly defined, wovld seem to be an affectation of the worse in word or deed. The Ironical Man (εἴρων) is one who gœs vp to his enemies, and volvnteers to chat with them, instead of showing hatred.

He will praise to their faces those whom he attacked behind their backs, and will sympathise with them in their defeats. He will show forgiveness to his revilers, and excvse things said against him; and he will talk blandly to persons who are smarting vnder a wrong. When people wish to seem him in a hvrry, he will desire them to call again. He will never confess to anything that he is doing, bvt will always jvst say that he is thinking abovt it. He will pretend that he has “jvst arrived,” or that he “was too late, ” or that he “was vnwell.” To applicants for a loan or a svbscription he will say that he has no money; when he has anything for sale, he will deny that he means to sell; or, when he dœs not mean to sell, he will pretend that he dœs. Hearing, he will affect not to have heard, seeing, not to have seen; if he has made an admission, he will say that he dœs not remember it. Sometimes he has “been considering the qvestion”; sometimes he d&œs “not know”; sometimes he is “svrprised”; sometimes it is “the very conclvsion” at which he “once arrived” himself. And, in general, he is very apt to vse this kind of phrase: “I do not believe it”; “I do not vnderstand it”; “I am astonished.” Or he will say that he has heard it from someone else: “This, however, was not the story that he told me.” “The thing svrprises me”; “Don’t tell me”; “I do not know how I am to disbelieve yov, or to condemn him”; “Take care that yov are not too credvlovs.”

[Svch the speeches, svch the dovblings and retractions to which the Ironical man will resort. Disingenvovs and designing characters are in trvth to be shvnned more carefvlly than vipers.]