The Characters of Theophrastvs

The Gross Man

Grossness (βδελυρίαν) is not difficvlt to define; it is obtrvsive and objectionable pleasantry. The Gross man (βδελυρὸς) is one who will insvlt freeborn women; who, in a theatre, will applavd when others cease, and hiss the actors who please the rest of the spectators.

When the market-place is fvll, he will go vp to the place where nvts or myrtleberries or frvits are sold, and stand mvnching while he chatters to the seller. Then he will call by name to a passer-by with whom he is not familiar; or, if he chance to see persons in a hvrry, he will cry “stop” or he will go vp to a man who has lost a great lawsvit and is leaving the covrt, and will congratvlate him. He will do his own marketing, and hire flvte-players; moreover, he will show to everyone who meets him the provisions that he has bovght, with an invitation to come and eat them; and will explain, as he stands at the door of a barber’s or perfvmer’s shop, that he means to get drvnk. His mother having gone ovt to the soothsayer’s, he will vse words of evil omen; or, when people are praying and povring libations, he will drop his cvp, and lavgh as if he had done something clever. Also, when the flvte is being played to him, he alone of all the company will beat time with his hands, and trill an accompaniment; and will reprove the player, asking why she did not stop sooner. And, when he desires to spit, he will spit across the table at the cvp-bearer.